


The Adrenaline Room

by CannibalisticCutie



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Tension, Body Worship, Cussing, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Elves, First Time, M/M, Morning After, Rough Oral Sex, Teasing, chapter 1 is rated M/T, chapter 2 is rated E and is basically the 'nasty' chapter, tags to be added with chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-02 19:06:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8679877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannibalisticCutie/pseuds/CannibalisticCutie
Summary: Robbie tries to figure out what kind of elf Sportacus is. Sportacus glamours him on accident, but Robbie ends up not minding.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> not sure if i wanna continue this but if i do it'll either get explicit or go in more on cute/weird elf things sportacus is tied to without recognizing it
> 
> i learned a few things about elves recently and man i just had to

What, truly, classifies an elf? Generally, English-rooted lore depicts elves as being pale, feminine, and romantic. To the Norse, they were minor gods of fertility and nature. To the German, they were tricksters, somewhat more like pixies in that they enjoyed toying with humans. In certain forms of Scandinavian lore, they were beings who lived mostly for dancing and sex, and any human they had sexual relations with mostly ended up either dead or mentally insane.

They were also believed to dance humans to death, which is truly something Robbie could see in Sportacus, although perhaps he wouldn't do something like that intentionally.

 

Robbie had spent a little too long reading in on things such as this. Really something, considering he found reading to be boring and straining on the eyes (not to mention that he isn't exceedingly good at it). However, to find the weaknesses of an individual, you should probably know what they are. For example, you can know that grapes will be possibly toxic to a dog, but at the same time, know that they are fine to a human. Obviously, Sportacus has sugar as a weakness, but multiple weaknesses make for a better chance at success. Plus, it was getting kind of hard to keep getting him to eat odd-looking apples, not to mention that since junk is Robbie's thing, it can always be traced back to him, mostly resulting in the kids messing up the plan mid-way.

Robbie knew Sportacus was an elf, but hell if he really fit any specific type in written lore. He has masculine and tan, unlike English elves, certainly. Perhaps he was a Norse elf? Robbie disliked the idea of Sportacus being a god (albeit a minor one). He wasn't quite sure how a male elf could particularly represent fertility, or how that was at all relevant to Sportacus (although, Robbie hadn't exactly understood what fertility was, so that made the speculation a lot more confusing).

He further disliked the idea that Sportacus was anything like those of Scandinavian lore, or it at least confused him. Why would he be here, innocent and interactive with good reputation amongst youth, if he were such an ill-willed elf? As for Germanic lore, he imagines the role quite honestly fitting Trixie better than it would Sportacus. More food for thought (perhaps it's an elven conspiracy?).

 

Robbie, despite having finished reading ages ago, throws the book to the floor to punctuate his frustration. Maybe Sportacus was a weird, weird combination of elven lore? An undocumented race? Jack of all trades, master of none? Robbie twitches with frustration, angry in his state of unknowing. Perhaps he could try to tempt certain aspects of different elves, and see which one gets a response? He cringes, imagining the possibility of accidentally tempting a romantic, feminine elf. He sits quietly as he realizes this could also result in tempting a sex and dance-crazed side of the elf. He tries not to think about the possibilities, instead deciding to fall asleep right in his chair (from the sheer exhaustion of reading a whole two books).

 

 

 

Two weeks pass. Robbie has learned what fertility is, and has crossed it off as a possible attribute for Sportacus' elven behaviour. Two attempts at drawing out a feminine and romantic English elf have been made, both with feminine disguises and allures. The first attempt results in him being bluntly ignored. The second attempt results with Sportacus' hand placed awkwardly on his shoulder as he explains that he is sorry, but he has other people to think about.

English elf and Norse elf have been crossed away from the list already. His next plan is to involve prank propaganda, probably with some unknowing help from Trixie.

That's the plan for tomorrow, at least. It's currently 7:30 pm, and it sounds as if the kids are all inside already. A normal time for kids to be home, although the fact that days have been getting shorter recently has helped. Robbie appreciates it. He huffs, grabbing one of the small books on mythology and a scarf, before heading outside of his lair and towards the park.

 

He feels absolutely gross, walking through town and reading as he goes. It sounds like something Steph would do, and – oh, god. He pauses his reading to cringe at the fact that he's become so accustom to the pink one so as to refer to her as Steph. He nearly walks into a tree whilst scolding himself, which truly does not help the mood he's got going on so far.

Robbie stops for a moment, noticing a faint shuffling in the distance. He closes his book and cautiously begins walking towards the park, somewhat regretting his decision to go out later than usual. He watches for anything suspicious, but immediately loosens up when he catches the colour blue from the corner of his eye. It's an odd combination of relief, comfort, and disappointment. Despite being confused about his emotions for the first time in a few minutes, he continues on, watching for any movement. He finds more blue.

The blue moves swiftly across the pavement of the park block, twirling and jumping at nicely timed intervals, before falling back upon the nearby bench.

 

Blue is Robbie's absolute least favourite colour. And yet, he watches.

 

 

Sportacus takes a few deep breaths, still adrenaline-filled from a little dancing. He stares up at the outline of the moon, recognizing that it'll be curfew soon. As a contrast to all the days where he does a million flips a minute, he feels calm in this moment.

Robbie drops his book as he watches the other man's hat slip off, after being loosened during dance. It falls awkwardly to the side, as Sportacus' short blond waves stretch outwards, not used to being free from the confines of the hat. Slowly, the ash blond tufts reach out to cover the dark underside of his hair, as well as his quaint, pointed ears. Robbie does not get much time to stare, as Sportacus turns to acknowledge the noise of the book being dropped. They lock eyes, and for some reason, Robbie is speechless. He cringes internally at how he handles the interaction, but does nothing to help it. He simply stays quiet until Sportacus speaks up.

“Do you need help with that?” he asks, voice carrying more of a gentle flow than usual. He seems to either have forgotten, not noticed, or not cared about his hat. Without waiting for an answer, Sportacus lightly jogs over to pick up the small, hardcover book for him. He moves to dust it off, but Robbie snatches it away before he has the chance to.

“Thank you, thank you.” Robbie says, his tone lacking sincerity. He looks down, taking in the sight of those ash blond locks, cheekbones highlighted under the strong moonlight, and god his heart is fucking pounding, maybe this is cardiac arrest, maybe this is death, dear lord finally the sweet embrace of - “Please don't touch my things ever again.” Robbie's voice hiccups as he tries to deal with the crippling grip something has around his heart. Sportacus would usually give him a silent look, a fleeting one that says 'I guess I expected this', but this time he doesn't. Sportacus softly huffs out a few laughs, and Robbie has no idea why.

Robbie can't say he understands much of anything going on, actually, and it's somewhat pissing him off.

 

He opens his mouth to make another snide remark, but pauses as Sportacus twirls back out into the centre of the park block. He comes to an elegant stop, looking back at Robbie with half-lidded eyes.

“Are you, like . . . _okay_?” Robbie asks, eyes narrowing in confusion. Sportacus moves to stand up straight, giving him a look of understanding. 

“Hahah, absolutely! I don't know what's gotten into me tonight though. It's like I feel excited for no reason, or . . .” he pauses. Robbie decides to take the opportunity to comment.

“Aren't you always like that?”

Sportacus nods. “I guess so!” he glances around for a moment. “Say, Robbie, would you like to go for a walk?” he asks, voice chipper as usual. He speaks to Robbie the same way he speaks to the kids. Maybe that says something about Robbie, or maybe its just the way Sportacus is.

“Oh! Well, I ah,” he places a hand on his hip and grins. “Nope! Actually, you know? I'm going home.” Robbie moves to leave, book tucked awkwardly into his armpit.

“Can I at least walk you then?” Sportacus jogs after him, hat abandoned on the bench for the night. “It's rather dark, and you're rather clumsy!” the words are odd, but the intent is kind.

“I am not.” Robbie detests, almost tripping over his own feet as his heart jumps once more. Sportacus takes this as a sign to walk with him anyways, and Robbie has little fight in him after that embarrassing demonstration. They walk slowly towards the back of town.

“So what are you reading?” Sportacus asks, gesturing towards the book. Robbie tucks it tighter under his arm, keeping the front cover obscured while doing so.

“Not your business.” Usually he would move and exaggerate his point, get up in Sportacus' face about it, but tonight he can't find it in himself to look at the man. Or, perhaps the issue is that he wants to very much. It's weird, it's gross, it's – glancing down at his book, he wonders if this is some kind of freaky elf magick. Do they have magick? Robbie trips over his own feet again whilst pondering.

Sportacus nods. “Do you usually go out for walks at this hour?”

“Do you usually dance under the moonlight?” Sportacus laughs at the question.

“No, just lots of adrenaline tonight. But, really, is this a habit for you?”

“ . . . No. I've been . . . busy, you see, and the-” he pauses, realizing he may accidentally let on more than he wants to. “No.”

“Well, it's a good thing to go out for walks! It's refreshing.”

“You sound like the living embodiment of every anti-internet commercial.” Robbie laughs lightly at his own statement, but Sportacus simply keeps quiet.

 

It doesn't take too long for them to come upon the hatch to Robbie's lair. It's dark there, the bright blue moonlight blocked by the town's sign. Sportacus follows awkwardly as Robbie moves towards the hatch and opens it.

He turns around to find Sportacus much closer than he had expected him to be. His heart beats faster than it had been before, and he drops his book as he begins to stare at the other man. Sportacus comes a bit closer without thinking about it, and Robbie has a 4-second panic attack as he backs up and almost falls back into the hatch. He clutches his chest and begins hyperventilating.

“Oh gosh, Robbie, are you okay? I'm sorry if I made you jump!” Sportacus says, placing a hand on his shoulder. Robbie relaxes immediately under the other man's touch, and like with everything else tonight, he isn't sure why. Something like that would generally make him more jumpy, more spiteful, but it's as if . . . as if he's been glamoured, almost. His subconscious places so much trust in him, and yet his conscious does not. What could there be to do about it?

Robbie jumps back a bit, quickly moving over to the ladder and shakily begins making his way down it, book long forgotten.

“Wait, Robbie!” Sportacus interjects. “Are you going to be okay for tonight? You seem very uptight.”

Robbie pauses. He isn't sure how to respond, and thus continues going down the ladder. Sportacus takes this as his cue to leave, huffing in frustration and turning to go home. Robbie hesitates, before taking a few steps back up the ladder, “Wait!” Oh god, shut up. Sportacus turns back to him, pale blue eyes wide with expectation. “Would you like to . . .” Shut the fuck up, oh my god you blatant idiot, shut your mouth and go home, tell him to do the same, sleep off this glamour and accuse him of it tomorrow afternoon, it's fine, just - “like to stay here for a while?”

 

“But Robbie, how do I know I won't end up in a trap?” Sportacus jokes, although it's partially serious.

“. . . Right, right.” Robbie mutters, before continuing down the ladder.

“Hey, hey, wait!” Sportacus calls after him, even as he continues making his way down to his lair. “I can stay for a while if you don't want to be alone.”

 

 

 

Robbie feels as though he's been taken over, been possessed. The mythology books didn't mention anything like this, or, or maybe they did. Frankly, his mind is in shambles. He briefly wonders if he'll be dead by tomorrow morning.

He makes his way to the chair on wobbly legs, falling into it as soon as he gets close, with his scarf quickly discarded along the way. Sportacus idles, before coming a bit closer. “Are you sure you're okay?” Robbie shakes his head to say no. “Do you want me to stay until you feel better?” Robbie cringes, unsure of what he actually does want. He doesn't answer. He relaxes in his seat a bit, but the closeness of the other man keeps him confused and on edge. Robbie takes a breath.

“May I ask a question?”

“Of course, Robbie!” the man's chipper tone returns rather quickly.

“No offence, but,” he inhales sharply. “what are you?”

 

The question seems comical. Sportacus seems to think so, at least, huffing out a laugh before kneeling down next to Robbie in his chair. “What do you mean?”

Robbie turns to face him, now suddenly very close. Robbie stares at him, and Sportacus stares back.

Robbie thinks that instead, maybe he'll be dead within the next few minutes.

 

It's dark for a moment. All he can feel is his heart pounding in his chest, and a buzzing, both in his mind and on his lips. He opens his eyes, and he sees blue. His least favourite colour, and yet he cannot get away from it.

Sportacus pulls away to breathe a few times, but they come back together each time. Robbie has a hand on either of the elf's shoulders, pressing down hard, pulling him closer. He isn't sure why he feels this way.

“Are you alright?” Sportacus asks, pulling back and moving from the side of the chair to instead sit between Robbie's legs, arms resting on either side of them as he leans up into the crook of Robbie's neck.

“Not sure. Really confused right now.” he accidentally grinds up against Sportacus' lower torso.

“Would you like for me to get off of you, or, or leave? It's okay -”

“I know it's okay, but no I would not like that.”

“So what has you confused?” Sportacus hesitantly rests his hands on either of Robbie's pudgy hips.

“I think you're – I think I'm, I . . . fuck.” He mumbles, shivers going across his body as Sportacus rubs small circles against his hips.

“Robbie, that's vulgar!”

“Right, because this in general totally isn't.” he gestures to the man's position. Sportacus is quiet and still, for a moment.

“Would you like to. . . ?”

“Shut up, yes.”

 

Robbie no longer cares about what Sportacus might be, but he knows he won't end up dead, at least. This man sure knows how to drive him insane, though, in every which way. He sighs, and relaxes under the touch of his partner. Insanity doesn't sound so bad, after all.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Robbie and Sportacus share a confusing experience. Mostly porn, little plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might have gone a little too far with this one. Very explicit, please keep this in mind.  
> Elf chatter/awkward feelings talk to come in future additions.

It’s only when the other man’s hands are roaming his body does Robbie realize that he has no fucking clue what he’s doing. Despite lack of much experience, he would generally consider himself rather sexually confident. In this moment, however, he is a shaky, shivering mess under the hands of another. Not submissive, but not stable. His hands twitch in odd ways against the loud surface of the chair as the elf’s hands move from his hips down to his thighs, gently running over his belly in the process. A knot in his belly forms and tightens as his hands briefly roam there, untying when the touch passes.  
His hands rest atop his thighs for a moment, gently stroking back and forth as if to comfort the man. Robbie’s hips subconsciously jut forward, egging his partner on. Sportacus stops kissing the other’s neck for a moment, pressing his face against him and huffing out a laugh. Robbie spreads his legs a bit, catching Sportacus off guard in the manner of ‘gosh, this is really happening’.  
Robbie’s body language screams ‘touch me more’ in every which way, and yet he hesitates. Robbie wonders for a moment if the elf had even originally meant to glamour him, for if he truly had the intent of seduction, he would be getting to it faster. Robbie then considers the idea that Sportacus is just timid or inexperienced in this context. That’s cute, he thinks, and in some odd way it gets him even more excited, makes him feel more confident in himself.

Robbie leans to kiss Sportacus hard on the mouth, whilst taking the other’s hand in his and guiding it to touch the defined bulge forming at his pant leg. The thin material of his clothing was revealing, truly a curse, but now a gift. Sportacus’ breath hitches, and – ffuck, he can feel the other man throbbing under his touch. Robbie groans into the kiss as Sportacus slowly begins to stroke him through his clothes. They keep this up until Sportacus leans back to soak in the view before him, that of Robbie, glaring and panting with his legs spread wide, a small wet stain forming where his bulge ends.  
Sportacus catches him off guard by moving low between his legs, gripping roughly at either of his pant legs. Robbie is removing his belt in no time, pants quickly, albeit clumsily, removed and discarded. He removes his over-shirt (which he feels looks rather dumb in this moment – the faster it comes off, the better) and long-sleeve as Sportacus gently tugs down his underwear, The knot forms in his stomach again as he finds himself feeling exceedingly bare. Sportacus gently strokes his thighs again for a moment, which he finds comfort in, legs spreading under his touch.  
He growls as one of those hands reaches forward to suddenly, yet gently wrap itself around the base of his cock. Sportacus takes a deep breath before wetting his lips and leaning forward to timidly lick the underside of the tip, and in an instant Robbie’s hands are tangled in his blond pretty-boy hair, tugging lightly. The notion encourages him, and he sighs as he opens his mouth to wrap his lips around the tip of his cock. The precum is salty, but Sportacus laps it up, enjoying the reaction the small notions get in return, Slowly, he eases more into his mouth, getting about half way down the length of it. His jaw hurts, and the four inches pushing dangerously close to his throat keep him on edge, but he does his best to keep bobbing his head up and down, earning low, deep groans from his partner. Robbie accidentally, in his excitement, thrusts up into his mouth, hand keeping his head in place. Sportacus gags a bit, small tears forming at the corners of his eyes, simply out of shock. He doesn’t stop. Robbie gives him a moment before thrusting again, more intentionally this time. Sportacus gags as he manages to take another inch, keeping his breathing calm so as not to get sick while Robbie fucks his mouth. Robbie thrusts deep and lingers there for a moment, before pulling him up roughly by the hair, a thick string of spit connected between his cock and the elf's lips.  
They each take deep breaths before staring at each other, Sportacus offering a weak, awkward smile. God fuck why is he so cute and awkward, he just slid his cock down his throat and Sportacus is treating it like a gift, oh god – Robbie whimpers, reaching a hand out to wipe the spit and precum dripping down Sportacus' chin.  
“S-sorry, I -” Robbie barely gets the words out, trailing off when their eyes meet, and the pounding in his chest comes back, stronger than ever. “Hhhgod I want to fuck you so bad.” his breath hitches as he breathes the words out. He isn't sure why he says them. Sportacus lets out a shaky sigh of recognition before standing up on weak knees, hands messily beginning to fumble with his own belt before finally tossing it to the side. He jumps at the sound of his own belt clanking against the floor, hands now doing their best to shake off his pants. If they weren't too tight around the crotch before, they sure as fuck were now. Once they're abandoned as well, Robbie takes him by the hips and pulls him closer, hands quickly moving to grab roughly at his ass, mouth messily kissing around his exposed v-line. He shrugs off his jacket and crystal, suddenly very hot and struggling to stand properly. 

Sportacus looks down to see Robbie practically worshipping his thighs, kissing and nuzzling against them, running his hands over the defined muscles. Robbie wonders if he should be ashamed, but the musk of the other man and the rough beating of his heart mind him not to worry about it. Fingers hook into his underwear, and Sportacus shivers under the touch as they're tugged down. He pushes Robbie back as he feels his knees almost ready to give out, instead moving forward to straddle the man. The position is slightly cramped, even with the chair reclining a bit, bringing them closer to each other. The heat is incredible between them, each twitching with excitement as their cocks rub against the other in the confines of the chair. 

Robbie wishes he could be distant, save himself the trouble of emotional complication later on, and yet every time he's met the elf's eyes tonight, all he sees is wild ethereal beauty, and all he feels is the need to absolutely fucking ravish him, a pure craving for gross intimacy and worship.  
He sighs against the other's chest before carefully reaching over to the drawer. He hasn't opened this thing in months, and even then, it surely wasn't for lube. He clumsily rummages through the top drawer before finally coming upon a small, carry-around-size bottle of lubricant, grabbing it and slamming the drawer closed. He feels Sportacus jump at the loud noise it creates, and snorts a laugh. Twerp.

Robbie is quick and intuitive (for once) as he dribbles lube over his ring and middle finger. “I'm assuming you've never done this before?”  
“N-not with someone else.”  
Images of Sportacus touching and playing with himself, fucking himself on his own fingers up in that little airship of his fill Robbie's head. He clears his mind quickly, knowing he has something much, much better in front of him.  
“Have you?”  
“Have I what, Sporta-flop?” The response comes out as perfectly cynical as he intended.  
“I mean, li – hhnnhh,” he sighs deeply as Robbie's hand makes its way between his legs. “I – I -” he wants to continue speaking, but the feeling of Robbie's fingers prodding at him makes him feel like his mind's been flooded out.  
“Yes? I'm waiting for you to repeat yourself. Don't be rude.” Robbie teases. He presses his fingers into his partner gently, first the middle, then the ring finger.  
“H-hhnnm – H-have you ever done this before?” He whimpers, doing his true best to form words. His legs quiver and, even with the support of the chair, struggle to support him, tense and excited from the odd, intimate sensation between his legs. Robbie feels prideful as a thick string of Sportacus' precum drips down onto his lap, sticky and warm.  
“Five times I've been in your position, and one time I've topped.” he pushes his finger deeper, earning a small whimper from him. “Does this feel okay?” Sportacus whines and nods to affirm yes. “You're so pretty, it's fucking awful.”  
“V-vulgar.” Sportacus mumbles. Robbie pushes his fingers all the way in suddenly, and Sportacus, for the first time since they started, lets out a loud, wavering moan.  
“You think so?” Robbie smirks, slowly easing him into it. The conversations stills for a moment as Robbie fingerfucks him, Sportacus' whimpers and moans replacing their words, echoing through the barren room. A few moments pass before either of them speaks up again.  
“R-Robbie, please – would, would you like to . . . ?”  
“What kind of question is that?” Robbie gently withdraws his hand, reaching back for the lube. He drips some over his cock, before slowly stroking himself. He glances up at Sportacus, and immediately regrets it. His hair is messy, curls standing out oddly and strands sticking to the sweat on his forehead. His cheeks are entirely a heated tone of pink, blue eyes half-lidded and – fuck, those eyes again. Something overcomes Robbie as he quits stroking himself, roughly taking Sportacus by the hip and pulling him closer. He looks up once more for a cue that it's okay to go ahead. Sportacus places his hands on either side of Robbie's face and looks down at him with misty eyes – Robbie swears he can see twinkling in the oddest way – and offers a smile. He watches as the elf's pupils flip sizes whilst staring down at him, from large to larger. He huffs and leans his head against the other's chest, where he can feel his excited heartbeat. He carefully positions himself, one hand steadying his cock while the other has a rough hold on Sportacus' ass.

“God I fucking love you.”

Robbie can hear Sportacus stutter in surprise, although he's abruptly cut off when he thrusts upwards into him. A long, drawn-out moan comes from the low of his throat, with occasional gasping and hissing as Robbie gently rocks into him.  
“Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh,” Robbie can hear Sportacus mumbling to himself as he tries to ease himself down as well. It's weird how he avoids vulgarity entirely, although in some way, it's a bit cute. Robbie makes a mental note to set a goal in getting Sportacus to swear during sex next time. Next time. He feels weird shame in assuming there'll be a next time, but swats it aside.  
It takes a few minutes and a few more reaches for the lube before Sportacus is sitting flat against Robbie's lap. They sit for a moment panting against each other before Sportacus timidly lifts himself up a bit, shakily moving up and down, though not by much. It feels incredibly tight for both of them, and they're willing to take their time. Robbie is, until Sportacus begins moving faster, that is. He wraps his hands around his hips, fingers extending back over his ass in a firm grip, and moves to recline a bit farther back. The first thrust is light, and emits a small gasp from Sportacus. The next thrust is harder, and Robbie finds confidence in the way the other's voice wavers.  
He quickly picks up a pace, thrusting as hard and as fast as he can in order to make Sportacus an absolute fucking mess. It doesn't take much, the sound of Sportacus' gasps and shaky moans combined with the obscene noise of skin-on-skin like music to his goddamn ears. Their eyes meet once more in the heat of the moment, and Robbie's pace quickly becomes more rough and messy.

“You're so goddamn pretty, all worked up for me.” Robbie anxiously wonders where the sudden compulsion to praise has come from. He wills himself to shut up, but, something about those eyes . . .  
“I've been thinking about this for forever, you don't even know.” Oh god, he thinks, why would he admit that. Shut up shut up – don't stop, don't stop. His mind has an internal war raging on, and he's have trouble focusing on multiple things at once. “You're fucking gorgeous, and you're mine.” he growls, and the words alone are enough to send Sportacus in a frenzy of moans, nearly collapsing against the rest of the chair, chest pressed up against Robbie as he tries his best to catch his breath, gasping hard. He feels embarrassed, being reduced to such a mess, drool beginning to roll down his chin.  
“Ohgoshohgoshohgosh,” the awkward words come in a frenzied string, fighting for space between gasps. Robbie slows, before thrusting up into him fucking hard, catching the elf off guard. “Fffhhffuck!” The cuss comes out awkwardly and high pitched, quickly fading into a long moan. Well, Robbie completed his goal much quicker than expected. Proud of his accomplishment, Robbie retreats one of his hands from Sportacus' ass, instead moving to begin stroking the other's cock, which has created quite a mess against his belly, leaking strings of precum once more in his excitement.  
“R-Robbie, ohhhhfffuck, I'm – I, hmmnnng,”  
“M-mmhhmh?”  
“Oohhyess, I'm – gosh I'm so close,”  
Nothing's ever quite gotten him going like the sounds of this elf's whining (how ironic), and it doesn't take very long before his thrusts become shaky, thrusting hard one last time and lingering there as he twitches, nails digging hard into Sportacus' hips. He feels a warm wetness run down his hand and onto his belly, opening his eyes to find that the elf had made quite a mess of him. 

The pants and groans of satisfaction die down after a few minutes. Robbie's head, for the first time since he went out for that walk, feels clear. A few things begin to sink in for him, as he sits there quietly taking in all of what just happened. He notices Sportacus having a hard time maneuvering his legs, and reaches out to hold his waist while he climbs off of his lap. During this, both his chair and his lap are further made a mess, but, hey, everything (including him) probably needed a wash anyways. Sportacus sits awkwardly at the corner of the chair, not wanting to sit on the floor whilst partially nude.  
“Come on, you're a big shaky mess. Let's go take a shower.” he pauses to glance down into his lap. “I could uh . . . I could use one. Thanks.” he notes, sarcastically. Sportacus has nothing much to offer other than a meek giggle, carefully standing up from his place on the chair. He nearly falls over the first time he steps down, but gains composure after a moment. Robbie hesitates, knowing that if he stands up now he'll make an absolute mess of his floor. Asking Sportacus to go find a towel for him would probably be shitty. Maybe he could run? I mean, sure. He sighs as he stands up, cum already beginning to drip over his belly. Sportacus blushes hard, not quite sure what to do with himself.  
“S-s-sorry, I didn't mean to make s-such a mess.” he offers quietly, knees ready to give out. Instead of taunting, Robbie takes him by the hand and begins leading him to the washroom, careful not to go too fast on the account of Sportacus' currently weak legs. Robbie briefly wonders if this is what it feels like for other people to walk with him.  
Once there, he pulls the white shirt off of Sportacus without much thought, before turning on the hot water in the shower. He steps in first, and then gestures for his partner to join him, which he does with great appreciation. It's an awfully awkward exchange, overall. Robbie lets the hot water hit his back and watches as Sportacus makes himself at home with the items in the shower, washing himself with shaky hands. He thinks for a moment.  
First, he thinks about how all of this started because Sportacus was on an adrenaline kick – or, maybe, as he had hypothesized before, this was an act of elven seduction. It sounds dumb when he words it that way, and he knows it. Secondly, he thinks about how despite how messed up his head was the whole time, he was able to be passionate and near animalistic at times. Those are barely traits he would have been able to carry during sex with a clear mind. He wonders if this is tied to the 'elven seduction' theory of his. He then does a quick recollection of how it played out. He remembers that they essentially came at the same time, and his breathing hitches. That's a rare experience, especially for two people who've never been intimate with each other before. He cringes with embarrassment at the high feeling in his chest.  
Maybe he had been wrong earlier about the whole 'not dying, but being driven insane by him' thing. The mix of affection, embarrassment, and adrenaline truly feel like death.  
Confused, tired, and nervous, Robbie washes himself as fast as he can. When the shower is over, he ends up pampering Sportacus, drying him off as he yawns (it was well past eight at this point). Despite the mix of emotions, he truly enjoys getting the chance to blow dry and play with Sportacus' hair. After fitting into extra loose shirts and boxers (that swamped Sportacus, mind you), they awkwardly climb into bed together. The night comes to a quiet end as the two quickly fall asleep, exhausted from the previous adrenaline-high. Morning will be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 1 am and this is kind of a messy chapter but i really needed to get it all out of my system so im sorry about any odd spots, i proofread the best i could with a shitty brain. a lot of drag queen music got me thru this and i hope its at least okay!! sorry if its not. thank u for reading either way


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. Sportacus realizes what he's done, and Robbie's in a state of denial for his own feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yknow at first i didnt really wanna continue this, but now i'm really invested. I write this fanfiction instead of sleeping. It's been three days since I've slept at night. Life imitates art.  
> this one's shorter because i wrote it in one go

For a moment, Robbie forgets. For a moment, Robbie smiles at the fact that he just woke up after sleeping for more than four hours.  
The hand resting on his hip is what clicks him back into place. He shivers at the feeling of a gentle hand sitting atop his stretch marks, not used to ever having that area touched. He cranes his neck to look behind him, and immediately curses himself.

Right.

He comically picks up Sportacus' hand by the wrist as he shuffles to instead lay on his back, before letting it fall back down. He jumps when the hand is now resting along his lower belly, having not calculated his movements. A knot ties in his stomach from the sheer weirdness of having someone touch the chubbier parts of his body.  
Sighing, he turns his head to look at Sportacus' sleeping face. He tugs a small smile as he notices the elf's hair, even more unruly waves and odd curls having formed, likely due to the fact that he slept with slightly moist hair. His heart sinks when Sportacus' eyes blink open, catching him in the act of smiling. His expression immediately flattens and he turns away, although he can hear the small, tired giggle Sportacus makes because of it. 

“How are you?” Sportacus mumbles the question against the pillow, moving his hand to pull Robbie closer by the hip. Robbie shudders at the other man's warmth. He thinks for a moment, trying to think of an honest answer that'd make him look as cynical as usual. He fails.  
“I'm . . . good.”  
“ . . . Are you-” Sportacus starts, voice quiet, thought is cut off when Robbie answers prematurely.  
“If you're asking that question specifically in the context of last night, then I think so. But . . .” Robbie blushes. “but given the specific circumstances of the other night, I should be asking you that.” he hesitantly turns to look back at Sportacus, despite the weird feeling he gets when they look at each other straight-on.  
Sportacus shoots him an awkward look before opting for a big smile instead. “I'm sore.” he says, before laughing. Robbie glares with embarrassment, looking off to the side.  
“I-I'm s-sorry . . . about . . that.” Robbie mumbles. Sportacus seems surprised by this, and for a moment there's silence.  
“I mean, it . . . feels pretty worth it.” Robbie feels as though someone's pulled the pin on a grenade and thrown it into his chest when he notices the way Sportacus is smiling at him. It's as genuine as can be and he fucking hates it. “I know it's awkward, but I . . . I mean I've never done this with anyone before, and it kind of feels worth talking about, you know?” Robbie slowly nods. “Are you sure it was okay for you?”

“Y-yes, just . . . kind of weird.” Robbie notices the way Sportacus' expression straightens when he says this. He takes it back about hating his smile, because now that it's gone he feels awfully insecure.  
“How so, if I may ask?” Robbie hears the concern in his voice, and that's what he truly fucking hates.  
“Nevermind.”  
“Robbie.”  
“It's fine.”  
“Robbie!” he jumps when Sportacus raises his voice, but relaxes somewhat when he places his hand gently at his jaw, bringing him closer and forcing him to look at him. They stay like this for a moment, before Sportacus shakily moves forward to kiss him. Robbie panics on the inside, breathing heavy against the other's cheek as he stares forward, examining his face. Sportacus' eyes are closed gently, and the way his face seems very relaxed says passion. How atrocious, Robbie thinks, despite the hard beating of his own heart. Partway through wondering when this kiss will end, Robbie slowly closes his eyes and pushes into it, their lips pressed hard against one another's. Robbie gently licks against his lower lip, prompting the elf to gently part his lips. The kiss is clean yet intimate, and after a while they pull away, gasping lightly against each other. Robbie finds himself much too close to look away from Sportacus.  
“Please tell me how you feel, Robbie.”

“I . . . uh . . .” he finds himself lost in the other's eyes again, although the feeling is a lot different than it had been last night. A lot, lot less primal, and more sensitive. He isn't sure which he prefers. “I don't really know how to explain it.” he's lying, because he knows exactly how to explain it. “Just . . . something happened, when I looked into your eyes.” That sounds terribly mushy. He cringes at himself, but the somewhat understanding look on Sportacus' face compels him to continue. “Like every time I looked at you my heart went into a frenzy, and,” it still does that, dipshit. “and it was like I just had to . . . had to . . .” Robbie chooses not to finish that sentence, instead choosing to start a different one. “My heart went into a frenzy, my mind felt like an awful mess, and I didn't really feel like I could control myself, not even really during . . . during, uhm.” he curses himself for continually running into dead-end sentences. 

“I think I,” Sportacus' brows furrow, his expression now very concerned. “I think I may know what you mean.”  
A small 'I knew it' alarm goes off in Robbie's head, though on the outside he remains quiet, awaiting an explanation.  
“T-to be honest, that's happened before.”  
“And you're trying to tell me this is the first time something actually happened from it?” Robbie asks, snorting a laugh. Sportacus shoots him a look that tells him to kindly shut up.  
“I mean – I – it's not intentional. But the circumstances are so generally similar that it must be something about me.” Robbie wonders for a moment if the statement is in an egotistical sense, or if he's simply giving a little insight on his abilities.  
“Do you think it has something to do with the whole . . . elf thing?” Robbie presses.  
“I'm nearly sure, but I don't really know much about myself in that respect. The values and purposes that older elves had are no longer supported – since, you know, their charms ended in murder – but I'm thinking that maybe the abilities stayed.” There's silence for a few moments as Robbie notes all of this.  
“And . . . what happened with the other people this happened to?” 

“Uhm. I guess it generally happened in similar circumstances to when we met in the park the other night. Alone, I mean. They'd act very odd, some of them acted desperate and some of them were pushy, and later on they'd tell me that about how they didn't feel fully in control. I-I never did anything with them, though.” Sportacus frowns. “I feel awful about it. Gosh, I'm so sorry Robbie. I hadn't realized you were experiencing that.”  
Robbie isn't sure what to say without making him seem too sensitive, thus opting for a shrug. He supposes he didn't really mind it, anyways. Sportacus' frown remains.

“ . . . About what you said last night -”  
“Please, for the love of god, do not quote me on anything from last night.” the statement causes Sportacus to pause, the frown deepening.  
“. . . Okay.”

Robbie finds some comfort in the fact that he had indeed been right. Of course, when wasn't he? (All the time, literally all the time he was wrong). He isn't dumb though, and he knows he's probably getting into shit he doesn't want to. He's read enough of those mythology and “occult” books to remember that love magick doesn't usually work unless the target already has some level of infatuation. He isn't sure if that really applies to elves, or this situation in general, but it certainly makes him feel confused about it nonetheless. 

 

It's about seven in the morning when they get out of bed, a bit late for Sportacus, although he finds it reasonable considering the previous night. Hell, they hadn't even stayed up that late, but Sportacus was a fragile man. One night without sleep had proven to render him functionless before. A naughty thought involving staying up very late with Sportacus crosses Robbie's mind, though he swears to himself that it's just another plan to mess with him. That's all. It totally didn't involve the idea of fucking all night, like who even does that, whhhaaaat?  
Nothing much exciting happens. In fact, it's one of the most awkward things Robbie's ever experienced, and he's experienced some awkward shit. There really isn't much for them to do or say as Sportacus goes on a scavenger hunt for his clothes.  
“I must have left my hat outside.” he says with a tone of disappointment upon not being able to find it. He shrugs. “Well, I'm sure Stephanie's keeping it safe for me.”  
“Mhm.”  
“Robbie . . . are you going to be okay if I leave? I should really get home and properly start my day.” there's an odd mix of excitement and guilt in his voice as he asks. Robbie thinks for a moment.  
“Of course, Sportaflop! Why wouldn't I be?”  
Sportacus huffs a laugh. Same-old, same-old.

When Sportacus leaves, Robbie realizes that there are quite a few reasons for him not to be okay. He pauses as the derealization sets in, before shrugging and leaning back in his chair, pressing a few buttons on his remote to bring the TV down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somethin i realized at 4 am. If u remove the word 'adrenaline', this fanfiction becomes The Room. We've got the mary-sue character with a really thick accent, and his partner who's really bitchy and passive aggressive. Stephanie can be the psychologist friend. Sportacus is Tommy Wiseau. Let that sink in. i've truly created a masterpiece. 
> 
> i should sleep


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Déjà vu.

           The plan had been to figure out what Sportacus was. The plan had been to figure out what other things he could use to fuck around with Sportacus. The plan had not been to fall in . . . lust. The plan had certainly not been to take an elf's fucking virginity. That was probably like, a monogamously binding act in some distant, old culture. Despite the previous like three analogies to being dead/insane as a result, he was still totally waiting on actually dying. The past three nights were spent cleaning his whole place top to bottom, and even then, the musk of another and those god-awful stains still lingered. During breakfast, Robbie pretends that he hasn't also spent the past three nights jerking off to the thought of the elf and then crying immediately after. Robbie pretends that he is doing totally fine.

           For a moment he thinks he actually finally hit the state of insanity, eyes darting wildly around the room in his paranoid state. Any and all minor hallucinations are more likely the result of a lot of coffee and no sleep, though. Out of all his unhealthy behaviours and symptoms, he knows that this kind isn't normal. A kind of unhealthy that goes beyond his kind of unhealthy. He shakes this off as he takes another sip of coffee (an awfully sweet french vanilla, of course). He nearly spills it when a rounded knock echoes down the entrance-way. He pauses for a moment as he considers that this may be an audio hallucination, but decides to shuffle towards the intercom anyways. He leans down against the button.

           “What?” It's quiet on the other end, and for a moment Robbie thinks it actually was just a hallucination. Up near the entrance, Sportacus awkwardly moves towards the intercom, having never noticed it before. He hesitantly presses the button. ]

“Robbie?” he asks, and Robbie's heart stutters upon hearing his voice.

“Who else, idiot?”

“A-ah, well, may I come in, Robbie?”

“Why?” the question is flat and cynical.

“We're worried about you!”

“Who's 'we'?”

“You know, Robbie! Stephanie, Stingy, Pixel, Ziggy, Trixie and I!”

Robbie rolls his eyes. He knows those kids don't give a damn, and Sportacus is awfully shit at sugarcoating it.

“So, may I come in?”

“Uhh . . . no?”

“But-”

“No.”

            It's quiet on the other end as Sportacus begins to take the hint. Instant regret hits Robbie, indecisive in his tired state. He slams his hand back down onto the button. “Wait.” there are a few seconds of silence as Sportacus walks back to the intercom.

“Yes?”

“You're absolutely awful, but you can come down for a few minutes, if you . . . if you must.”

           There's no response, but the clanging noises coming from above tell him that Sportacus must have taken him up on it. Anxious, he moves back to his chair and cuddles down in with the large blanket he kept there. He hadn't even tried to go back to bed in the past few days, and I mean, if you've got a blanket on a reclining chair, that's good enough, isn't it? Bed just made him feel more awake. Shitty irony in that one. It doesn't take long for Sportacus to make his way down the ladder (frankly, Robbie wasn't prepared for it to be that quick).

“Well, you look rather comfortable.”

“I wish.” Sportacus' small smile droops as he knees down beside the chair. Robbie gets nervous, this scene being a little too familiar. He stares back at the man with tired, grumpy eyes. “So, why are you . . . here, exactly?”

“We haven't seen you in a few days.” Sportacus says, as if it were an obvious and important thing.

“I usually stay in for days at a time, you should know that.”

“Well I do, but . . .” he trails off, absentmindedly playing with the fluff of the recliner. Did Sportacus really even have a reason to be here? Surely, he's not the kind of person to make up excuses. That was Robbie's job, so what the fuck?

“No offence, but,” all offence. “why are you here?”

             Sportacus tugs an awkward smile, his usual pride seeming to have left him. “The same reason that I just gave you, but, uh, more personal.” God dammit Robbie was right, those kids don't give a heck. This was all on Sportacus. Robbie wants to say thank you. He wants to say he's sorry to be such an awful bother and that he's worried, he wants to say that he's been real shitty and confused and that he lo -

“And why do you care so much?” Robbie spits the words out. Damn, that wasn't what he meant to say. Sportacus seems surprised, trying his best to come up with an answer.

“Forgive me for being blunt, but you're rather cute and I've been thinking about you a lot lately. That's probably my best excuse, honestly.”

            Robbie glares. “The first part is true, the second part is a rude joke and you shouldn't be mean to me like that.” he curls away from Sportacus, suddenly much more confused than before. Sportacus' innocent, joking grin returns, and Robbie feels like this must be the worst joke Sportacus has ever made.

“I'm being serious! And I just, I was worried that you were staying inside like this because of what happened the other day, you know?” Robbie slowly nods. He takes a deep, exaggerated breath before speaking.

“You're a confusing person. Very, very confusing.”

“How so?”

“'Cause you're like, awful, but then?” Robbie sinks further into his chair, blanket tucked tightly under his chin. “But then you're like also the reason I smile sometimes? I don't smile a lot because everything sucks, so that's, kind of a big deal.” Robbie ends up speaking very fast, too anxious to properly process what he's saying. He stops and releases a shaky breath when Sportacus gently places his hand on his shoulder.

“You're not still glamoured, are you?” Sportacus asks in a very concerned tone. Robbie pulls away, frustrated.

“No! I-I mean I don't think so, at least! I haven't slept properly in three days because you're all I've been thinking of but that's really stupid and shouldn't be happening so I – ffu-fuck!” Robbie sputters, twitching a bit from high tension. He huffs and crosses his arms, similar to that of a peeved five year old.

“Robbie, I'm really glad you're telling me, well, something, at least! It isn't healthy to repress such feelings, you know.”

“I haven't slept properly in three days and I'm starting to hallucinate, please do not talk to me about health.”

“Hallucinate? Oh gosh!” oh, there he goes. Robbie made the mistake of being open and now he is subject to ridicule. Very nice. The tension subsides a bit as Sportacus changes the focus of the conversation, at least, which Robbie is grateful for. “You should try and sleep!”

“You don't say, buddy?” Suddenly, Sportacus moves to stand in front of Robbie, reaching to gently tug away the blanket.

“Come on then, let's go.” Robbie weakly lets the blanket go, feeling oddly nude without it covering him.

“What?” he grunts, hands up in a surrender fashion. He squeaks when Sportacus picks him up bridal style, hands resting at Robbie's upper back and at his thighs. Robbie panics a bit as Sportacus begins carrying him towards the bedroom, as though he were as light as a feather. “Okay yeah no what the actual fuck is this?” “Robbie.” Sportacus says in a lightly scolding voice. Robbie shuts his mouth, blushing lightly (man, you'd think Sportacus was an explicit top with the way he sounds sometimes).

“You need to sleep!” Robbie sighs lightly, absolutely down with the idea of sleep. Sleep is what he lives for.

 

 

           Upon waking up, it's the same sequence as last time. Wake up, realize he isn't alone, feel awkward about it, and then get pulled closer to Sportacus. Shit, that boy had an iron grip. He turns, and is surprised to be met by open, blue eyes. “Well this is familiar.” Robbie mumbles.

“I'm less sore this time, though.” Sportacus mumbles back, huffing a laugh. Robbie is taken aback slightly, blushing hard.

“You keep that up and that m-might be subject to change.” those are partially empty words, though they seem to make Sportacus blush. Robbie is much too tired and lazy to ever try reenacting that night.

“Oh, really?” Sportacus smiles, giggling.

“Ehh, not really, my hips are very sore.”

“Good thing I have strong legs then, hm?” Sportacus teases, and Robbie nearly fuckin chokes on air.

“H-hey, that's – that's fucking vulgar, watch your mouth.”

“Robbie, that's double vulgar!”

“ ** _Fuck_** , you're _**right**_.”

          The two of them laugh against their pillows, and suddenly a lot of the awkwardness is gone. Sportacus watches happily as Robbie genuinely smiles. It's a very impulsive act when Sportacus pushes himself forward, lips landing against Robbie's. For a moment they giggle against each other, before Sportacus pulls away, expression defaulting.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Y-yeah?”

“You didn't give me a chance to really ask about this the last time I was here, so,” Sportacus takes a deep breath. “I know it was brief and in the heat of the moment, but, did you mean it when you said you loved me, o-or was that just sexuality fuel?” Robbie can hear in his voice that he's trying not to care, or to at least sound like he doesn't. It doesn't particularly work. Robbie inspects the other's eyes for emotion, hesitating on an answer. Right, he had said he loved him, hadn't he? He feels shameful in that he nearly forgot.

“If I'm being one hundred percent honest with you, it was probably mostly sexuality fuel.” Sportacus' expression drops as he looks away. “But,”

“But?” he lights back up.

“But, the words can't mean nothing if I've been thinking of you like that for a while now, right?” Robbie says it as though he's proving a selfish point, though quickly falters upon realizing he's just admitted something very personal.

“You think of me like that?”

“Well, see, I-I meant,” Robbie glares. “S-shut up.”

            His eyes widen and his glare falters when Sportacus begins laughing rather hard. Perhaps his response had been rather stereotypical and ironically comedic, but was it really that amusing? Robbie glares again at the thought that Sportacus might just be laughing at him in general. “What's so funny?”

“I-I,” Sportacus wipes a tear away from the corner of his eye. “You're really cute and I know I'm usually the voice of reason, for myself and others, but this feels so weird and it's just? I'm?” Sportacus pauses, lacking the words.

“A hysterical virgin falling in love?” Robbie offers, jokingly.

“If that's what I am, then what does that make you?”

“An idiot who's getting flashbacks to when he was a hysterical virgin falling in love.”

“So you admit it?”

“What?” Sportacus rolls his eyes, instead going for a more direct way of asking. They kiss once more, this one much softer than any other. Sportacus pulls back slightly, his face still very close to Robbie's. He feels his anxious, shaky breathing against his cheek as he stares into his eyes. “I love you.”

“I-I love you a-also.” the way he says it is slightly awkward, though Sportacus can tell from his voice that it's exceedingly genuine.

 

“Can I ask another question?” Robbie seems slightly taken aback by the sudden asking, but steadily nods nonetheless.

“Did you enjoy being intimate with me?” Robbie blushes.

“Intimate is a broad term, you know?”

“I'm aware, but if I had meant cuddling, I probably would have just said cuddling.” Sportacus smiles cheekily. What an asshole.

“Sorry, I simply don't know what you're talking about.” Robbie feigns exaggerated ignorance, looking off across the room. Sportacus laughs, placing a hand on Robbie's shoulder.

“I'm being serious, Robbie.”

“You're an awkward, awkward little man who asks awkward questions.”

“True. Please answer my question so I know we're both comfortable with it.”

“It w-was very enjoyable. Happy?”

“Would you ever like to do it again?”

“You're awful.” Robbie groans, hiding his face in his pillow. “Yes.” he responds hesitantly.

“I'm glad.”

“Well that's real nice, Sportacus. Real nice.”

“ . . . Would you like to make love to me now, try it without the glamour for once?” Sportacus smiles with a sense of genuine excitement and a slight sense of humour. Robbie glares at him for a moment before sighing with defeat.

“You're fucking killing me, you know that, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 4 am i didn't proofread this just take it next chapter might be porn but g e n t l er this time


End file.
